This past weekend was a clear reminder of how cold winter can be up on “The Hill”, in Kingsbury. Despite the weather on my phone, claiming it was 15° out, Real feel 7° and winds were supposedly 35mph, I had to disagree. Our thermometer stated 7° and the winds were much stronger. Factoring in the wind, it was roughly 20° BELOW. The house creaked and the roof moaned with every gust. The windows shook and the shed door rattled. Old Man Winter finally made his full appearance and had an unwelcomed stay for a few days.
It was the type of weather that, just looking out the window, made your bones ache and sent a chill down your back. No matter how cozy it was inside. When it was time to take the dogs out, Willa did her business and hurried back to the door. Which never happens and poor little Charlie!! I was afraid he was going to freeze into a little troll statue, with his short chihuahua/ rat terrier fur. Back inside he’d run, straight into his fleece lined pod. I was envious. If I had a pod, I would have curled up in it myself.
The whole weekend I kept the house warm. Not only did I have the propane heater on, with the blower going, I started a fire in the cookstove. Wood heat is the best for cold raw days. The curtains and shades remained drawn, until day light, even then, I only partially opened them to keep the heat in, but to allow some natural light in.
The dogs were not the only ones hesitant to go the bathroom. I was myself. Granted, the outhouse is attached and we don’t have to step foot outside, but it was still COLD! If you can see frost on interior wooden walls, you know it’s cold. When you spray cleaners and they freeze instantaneously, you know it’s cold. When you sit down and feel that burning and frozen sensation, all at the same time, on your bum, you know it’s cold. That was the weather report for this weekend IN the outhouse. COLD! Chance of frost bitten booty!
It could be worse, I suppose. On the upside, we don’t have to bundle up, trudge through deep blowing snow and then have to fidget with buttons and zippers with frozen appendages. Especially, in the middle of the night, half asleep. We open a door, walk 8 feet, open another door. Arrival. It’s really not that bad…most of the time. It does take getting use to.
I remember the first time we stayed here. Kenz was almost 3. Fully Potty trained. When I took her out to go the bathroom, she wasn’t having it. When I lifted the wooden lid, I tried to hurry her, as I didn’t want her getting a glimpse down the hole. I wasn’t fast enough. It took some coaxing, a bit of cheering on and explaining she had no other option. I’m sure she was waiting for some creature to pop out at any given moment. I won’t lie, the thought crosses my adult mind (And it has happened…see my blog about Intruders) Finally, I told her I had to potty too. Being double seated, I lifted the lid next to her and sat down. She thought that was pretty funny. I can tell you, she’s not the only one, quite a few people think it’s pretty comical. Maybe this is when women started going the bathroom together?!
Just this Christmas, our 2 year old grandson, Gio, had his first experience with the outhouse. All we could hear was him saying “No, No..” but in the end, after a brief chat with his Daddy, he managed. He’ll get use to it.
We now only use the outhouse 6 months out of the year. Just during the cold periods. Last May we decided to rent a porta potty for the warmer months. If I’d known then, what I know now, we would have done it a few months sooner. The company supplied not only the toilet paper, but the hand sanitizer too. That would have been ideal during the toilet paper shortage! They also come and clean it weekly!
I wish someone came weekly to clean the outhouse for me. Of ALL the things we do and have to do…it’s my least favorite chore. During the cold weather, the outhouse still has to be maintained. The problem….it’s cold. “THINGS” don’t breakdown and decompose in cold weather. The most you can do is move it. Yes. Move it. So I do what I call “slinging shit”. Since the storage side also has a toilet, I put on my gloves and mask and grab the camp shovel and literally sling it over to the other side and add in more lime. If it’s really cold…it’ll roll. It’s a joyous time.
Come spring and the arrival of the porta potty, I start spring cleaning. When I empty out the storage area, aka the other side of the outhouse, I dump peat moss in the toilet and do the same on the side we’ve used all winter. Then we let it REST until November. The peat moss will absorb any moisture and then over time it creates a top layer of crust. Once the crust is made, the materials underneath will start decomposing.
In the winter, I do periodically add soft wood shavings, although it doesn’t do much of anything at the time, it does help in the absorption of any liquid. Who knew there was a science to outhouses. Many people think lime helps in the decomposing part. All lime does is help control the pH and the stench. For the most part. I have, I will and I do buy the large Yankee Candles strictly for the outhouse. Any scent that is woodsy. Balsam, cedar and Fir are the best. No flower, or even worse, food scents. Those do NOT belong in an outhouse.
As of now, we still have 3 months before I can order the porta potty. In the mean time, I need to decide where it will set. Last year we had it set it out by the storage shed. Close to the front door, but still far enough away. It worked great there….except….except for one thing. The ground is not completely level. Normally, that wouldn’t be an issue. And it wasn’t. Until one day.
I pulled into the yard and noticed Jesse’s work van and that he was home. I went into the house. I saw the dogs. Cats. No Jesse. It’s one room, 400sq feet. Where is he? I go back outside and he’s coming out of the porta potty, backwards on his hands and knees. He stands up and I noticed the cleaning spray and paper towels in hand. I asked him what he was doing.
Well…..long story short. We had a Nor’Easter come through this past fall. The wind was continuously pounding and blowing on the backside of the porta potty. Unfortunately, or fortunately, (I’m not really sure) depends how you look at it, the company had cleaned the porta potty out the previous day. With no weight left in it, the wind blew the porta potty over…door side down. Covered top to bottom on the inside. Contents across the lawn. Jesse said he pulled in and was like NO WAY?!? I told him, if it had been me, I would have backed out and drove off. Nope. It’s not like we have a hose to spray it down with. Gahhh…
I’ll stick to slinging shit.
Off-Grid Soul 